The Greatest Superfreakiest Show on Earth

Dear Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey:

I just had to ask...which of you was the superfreak? Or are you all rolling over in your graves at the thought of how far your circus has fallen?

I took my kids, ages 6 and 3, to see the circus a few weeks ago. I have to say parts of it were more like a burlesque show or something you would only get to see after inserting your fare into the slot and peeping through the little hole in the wall. Now, I'm not a prude by any means, even when it comes to my kids. But I have to say that the chicks with the short skirts, patent leather hooker boots and motorcycle handlebars around their waists were a bit much. Did you really have to go so far as to have the band play an orchestral version of Smack My Bitch Up? I thought this was a family show!

I hope that next year we get the Bellobration tour instead of the Bunny Ranch version!

This all followed the amazing motorcycle act. This act was toned down on the night we attended since the day before one of the motorcycle acts ended with several circus patrons being sprayed with gasoline. Lovely! At least they got a complimetary trip backstage to be hosed off and have a nice eye rinse.

Perhaps you should stick to lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Today's circus has surprisingly few cool animal acts though. There are elephants, who mostly just walk around the arena, lie down, stand again and walk some more. The most entertaining part of the elephant show was when the largest elephant of all decided center stage was the perfect place to take a ginormous dump. All the children were quite amused. They seemed in awe of the clean up crew's efficiency at quickly removing the offending poo. Other than that, there were a few horses. And there were dogs....yes, dogs. Not very exciting, but better than the tour with the house cats. What happened to the lions? Where are the zebras? I want to see some dancing bears!

At least this year we made sure to have a large meal before arriving, since the prices are insane at the circus. We did get 2 boxes of popcorn (at $8 each!). They were charging insane prices for everything, of course. $3 for a bottle of water. $12 for cotton candy. Unbelievable. They wanted $10 for a sno cone. Sure, it came in an animal head cup, but still...it's just a cup of colorful ice! The children got one toy each...Alex got a light-up-spinning-obnoxious-siezure-causing item for $20 and Sam chose a shiny red motorcycle for $14. We've had worse years.

Did I mention just how much I hate the circus?

~Mom on the Edge