Thursday, August 30, 2007

Spy Kids

Dear unsuspecting citizens:

I must share with you a conversation I overheard between my 5 year old daughter (A) and 3 year old son (S). Beware. If you see them on the street, please do not approach. They should be considered armed and dangerous! You've been warned.

A: I think we're going to have to start spying on Dad.

S. Yep, we have to watch him.

A: Then we'll know what he's up to and can stop him before he can be mean.

S: Daddy's not mean to me.

A: Well, he could be. That's why we have to watch him. Here's the spy on him whenever he's in the living room. I'll spy on him when he's outside. Do you think Mom would spy on him at night, in the bedroom? I don't think we can trust that. Maybe he just sleeps there anyway.

S: Yep. I'll spy on him in the outside.
A: NO! You're supposed to spy in the living room! Pay attention!

S: Well, I can spy on him all the time.

A: Ok, we'll start today. Don't forget, you spy when he's in the living room...and be careful!

S: Careful, right. I'll go get our swords...


Watch out, Dad. It sounds like a pretty strong plan, assuming they don't kill each other first.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Nine years...

Dear husband:

Nine years ago today a couple of 22 year old kids vowed to spend their lives together. What were we thinking? ;) I remember the day so well, yet it also seems a blur. It went so fast...the ceremony, of course, lasting only 12 minutes. It was a kick-ass party though. Best reception ever!

I don't take the chance to say these things as often as I should, but now seems appropriate. Thank you for all you've done for me, all you do for me, for everything you are. Thank you for giving me two beautiful children. Thank you for being my rock when my strength fails me. Thank you for working so hard. Thank you for being so patient and understanding. Thank you for loving me just the way I am. Thank you for being such a fantastic dad. Thank you for being mine.

Happy anniversary. I love you.


And now, for the viewing enjoyment of my readers... a trip down memory lane...

Thursday, August 23, 2007


Dear Craigslist:

Please release me from your siren call, luring me back to the computer every time I step away. I have chores to do, children to tend to...and sometimes I even need a bathroom break. Please release this hold you have on me! I can't take it any longer! My bathrooms need cleaning, the dishes need to be put away.....

I've wasted so much time on this post....what if I missed something awesome on the Craigslist Free Stuff board??? Oh crap...gotta run..........

~Mom on the Edge

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The Free Movies

Dear Patrons of the Regal Free Family Film Festival:

Having free movies to take your children to during the summer is such a fantastic thing! Of course, for us the "free" movie really just means the "$11 snack time," but I digress. My true meaning for writing is to share with you some suggestions for next summer, since thankfully this one is coming to a close.

1. When forming a line, waiting for the doors at the theater to be unlocked, it might be a good idea to keep your children away from the busy parking lot. It might ruin their movie-going experience to be flattened by one of the gigantic SUVs flying through there. I know it's so terribly difficult to manage those precious little souls (read: out of control demons) while chatting on your cell phone and applying make-up. I guess we all have our priorities though.

2. And speaking of this "line" we're supposed to form while daughter's preschool teachers were always fond of reminding the children that "we want a french fry line, not a mashed potato line!" I would be happy with any line that didn't involve strangers knocking my little ones around while trying to make a mad dash to the front of the line, even though there were about 100 people there before you! I'm still confused as to how my kids and I got to the theater a good 5 minutes before anyone else arrived and still I was about the 50th person into the theater??? But, I didn't get much sleep last night and perhaps all that pushing and shoving was just an hallucination. I guess I'll never know.

3. I realize it's a free movie, however, I am of the opinion that the same rules apply. I'm talking to you, the moms (and nannies) who talk on their cell phones throughout the movie while ignoring your screaming baby. While it's fun for the rest of us to miss every other line of the movie due to the blood curding cries of your 8 month old, you may want to take the conversation into the hall. And take the kids along! Your 3 year old isn't a babysitter.

4. Once the herd has been led into the theater itself, be courteous to others. I know that the $6.50 large popcorn purchase allows us free refills. That's why I buy it. Do I think that the kids and I are going to eat all of the popcorn contained in that 10 gallon bucket? No, certainly not. But I do anticipate the terroristic 5 year old boy ever so politely (and intentionally) kicking our popcorn over while shooting his pretend guns at us. What an imagination on that one! What I didn't anticipate was the response from his mother, whose only reply was, "at least it wasn't a drink!" Really? That's all you have to say? (I gave a few seconds of thought to pulling out my own pretend gun on the mother, but I thought better of it and went to refill the popcorn instead.)

5. A message to all the daycares out there...parents pay you to take care of their kids. They pay A LOT for you to take care of their kids! Get up off of some of that cash and PAY to take those kids to a movie! Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy being surrounded by 127 screaming daycare kids who are being "supervised" by 4 (sleeping) teenage chaperones! But I've heard rumblings from others who aren't so open-minded as myself. I worry for you. What will you do with that brood when you return to the parking lot to find the tires on your daycare vans slashed by some renegade mom? The day is coming...

Oh there's so much more I want to say, but I'm just overwhelmed after a summer full of free movies with all of you. All I can say is, thank goodness that next summer is so far away!

~Mom on the Edge