I flip for no one!

Dear early childhood educators:

Let me start by saying that I know your intentions are good. I know you certainly aren't in it for the money. I know you love my children and I appreciate that more than I can say. That being said, there are just some things I really don't understand.

I know it's fairly impossible to teach to each child's level. The ratio of child to teacher is just too great for that, in most cases. It just really bothers me because in many cases it has meant my kids have to move backwards in their abilities to accomodate others. That seems so unfair to them.

Example #1 ~ The Coat Flip

Sam is a very smart and capable kid. He loves to please others, but can be stubborn when a request seems arbitrary or if he thinks there's a better way. He usually will comply with our requests without argument as long as we allow him some latitude in HOW it gets done. He has always done well at preschool and the teachers love him. When I picked him up today though, his teacher seemed troubled. I asked, as I always do, how Sam's day went. Her concern turned out to be that Sam had refused to do the "coat flip" that they have the children do before going outside. If you're not familiar with the coat flip, it's a method lots of people use with small kids so they can put their own coats on, be self sufficient in that way, feel good about themselves...and save the teachers a lot of time. They have the children lay their coats on the floor, put their arms through the sleeves and then flip the coat over their heads. At first I was concerned that he was just being contrary and maybe was insisting that the teacher put his coat on him. that would have bothered me. But, come to find out...he just put his coat on the way most people do, one arm at a time. Naturally, I wasn't seeing the problem. I mean, that's how I put my coat on. Don't you? I don't know any adults, or even children over 5 who use the coat flip method. The whole time Sam was sitting in the back seat quietly, occasionally whispering, "I just don't flip my coat." So, I told the teacher that he has learned the right way to put a coat on and likes that better. Her response, "Well, the coat flip is the way we do it at preschool. And we want to be just like our other preschool friends, don't we?" I decided silence was the best response I could offer to such a ridiculous statement. My real answer? Hell no I don't want my son to be "just like" all the other kids! I just want him to be Sam.

By the way, Pearson and I had this very same argument with Alex's preschool teacher when she was 3 (same school, different teacher). Alex refused to do the coat flip as well.

Example #2 ~ The Primaries

No, not those primaries. As far as I can tell they aren't discussing the election in preschool or kindergarten. I'm refering to primary pencils and crayons...you know, the big fat ones. Back in the summer Pearson and I had kindergarten orientation where we met the teachers and got a folder full of forms and information. The teachers told us to browse through the information while we were there so we could ask any questions that might come to mind. I had several questions ranging from why they ate lunch so early (10:50 am!) to if they were able to work with the children on their own individual level for reading and how that was handled. I got satisfactory answers to all of those questions. But then I asked if all of the kids had to use primary pencils and crayons. Their answer was simple: yes. I questioned the reasoning behind this. They informed me that children have an easier time learning the proper way to hold a pencil or crayon if they're taught using the primary ones, then they will move on to regular pencils and crayons. My response was, "Where does that leave a child who already has that skill?" They seemed confused by the question. So I continued..."My daughter has been using a regular pencil and regular crayons forever. Her grasp is perfect and her handwriting is excellent. I just worry about setting her back by taking this giant leap in the wrong direction." One of the teachers replied, "Well, that's how we teach them to do it right." And I replied, "And since she already does it right, then isn't this just a step backwards for no apparent reason?" The answer: "That's just how we do it." Not good enough....

These are just a couple of small examples of a much bigger problem, I think. Schools are really stifling the individuality of our kids...or at least they're trying to. It seems like the education system has taken a step back since I was kid. There certainly were a lot of similar situations back then, but they seemed to be making progress in that area. I had several teachers who encouraged me to be unique, taught me to question authority (respectfully, of course), pushed me to explore and examine life, glorified the unconventional. Maybe I was just blessed with some excellent teachers and opportunities. But it seems like there's more to it. It's all so single minded now. They teach the kids so they'll pass a test instead of teaching them so they can change the world. They teach them to be like everyone else, when most of the people who have made a real difference in this world have been incredibly unique.

I want my kids to do great things, to be great people and push themselves into new and exciting adventures. You can't do that while being forced to conform. So, I guess my point is less about the arbitrary rules of the education system and more about my own overwhelming pride in my children's early abilities to fight the power!

~Mom on the Edge