That's How We Roll

Dear lady down the street:

I just wanted to thank you for saving me so much time. I had plans to invite you and your kids over one afternoon to meet a couple of other moms in the neighborhood. Since you're new around here, I thought it would be the neighborly thing to do. Of course these things take some effort and planning. I am a conscientious hostess afterall. I always want things to be just right. I had it all planned in my head. I would invite you and your 4 kids, the 2 moms down the street with kids of similar ages (4 kids between them), and my next door neighbor with her daughter and step daughter. The kids could all play while eating homemade cookies and drinking lemonade. The moms could sip on sweet tea and get to know each other. Time consuming and haggering as it may seem, we do what we have to do. But you saved me from all that trouble.

Things were moving right along with the plans, in my head anyway. This hostess thing is a multi-staged process. It had seemed like fate that we would be great neighborhood friends. It was pretty cool the way we met. When you posted an ad on Freecycle and I replied, who would have thought you lived just 4 houses away from me? Fate! And you have kids about the same age as mine. Fate.

All seemed fine when you stopped by our yard sale. We made a plan to exchange an infant seat I had for some 3T boy's clothes you had. Remember that part? I think your words were, "I have a ton of 3T stuff for boys and it's all cute, Old Navy and Gap...stuff like that..." Seemed like a great deal for us both, with Sam needing some 3T clothes and you needing an infant seat. Again, fate. But alas, sometimes fate can be so cruel.

Pearson headed down to your house at 2:30, as you requested, and exchanged one for the other. When he arrived home and handed me the large bag he had retrieved from your house, I was so excited to see what kind of wonderful "big boy" clothes were waiting in there for my little guy! Imagine my surprise when I actually pulled them out...BIG BOY INDEED!

I suppose I should give you the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps you like to dress your son like a miniature Kevin Federline, in baggy pants and an oversized shirt. Maybe you thought you were doing something nice when you gave me these things. Then again, if that were the case, maybe you wouldn't be completely ignoring my e-mails and phone calls. I hope you enjoy the infant seat. I also hope dressing like a teeny thug doesn't violate the dress code at Sam's preschool. And how do I accessorize? I'm so not up on my hip hop culture...

Anyway, thanks for saving me some time. Being friendly with your neighbors is so overrated. I don't know what I was thinking. It's so much more fun to be involved in a neighborhood feud. Look out Hatfields and McCoys...it's on!

~Mom on the Edge

*a note to the readers: Those shorts are a size 8 and the shirt is a 10/12. These seem to fit the best.